#10 - The Doss Family

9 year ago I hopped on an Amtrak train to spend the summer dancing in The Project, a summer intensive working with choreographers from all over the world where the dancers participate in original creations by 6 of the choreographers.  Gioconda Barbuto was there that summer (she created a stunning sextet with three tall long legged goddesses paired with three short vivacious men, you can imagine how brilliant it was just from that description), along with Thaddeus Davis, a choreographer who altered the way I looked at the working relationship between dancer and choreographer.

Before I get ahead of myself with the dancing part of the summer, Amtrak was delayed in Seattle (as it usually was back then), and that delayed train brought the one and only, Wendy Doss into my life.     I arrived in Portland to the brightest, most bubbly and excited woman ever, holding a hand decorated sign with my name on it.  I was partly shocked.  But Wendy and Pfer welcomed me into their arms and into their home that day and summer to what ultimately became annual visits for years to come.

But I soon learnt that this was no special treatment for some Canadian girl who walked off a train and into a city she would fall in love with over and over again.  The Doss Family has an open door policy that has changed the way I look at letting people into my life.  Before meeting them, I was resistant to letting new people in, they had to earn their way or prove themselves. It was a series of measurements and tests I hadn't even realized I'd built up to protect myself from others.  But man am I glad that delayed train brought those walls down!

The #1 Rule of staying with the Doss' is that you do not go to bed without hugging everyone and the first thing you do when you wake up is say good morning and hug everyone.  For someone who grew up being able to slink off to my room when I didn't want to see anyone before bed and got away with it, this was a shocker.  But a shocker I came to love.

The #2 Rule of staying at the Doss' is that you share.  No, you are not forced to share, but when there is so much damn love and sharing going on all around you, it rubs off on you.  Any Green Grinches that walk in the door disappear pretty quickly in that house.

Rule #3, you express your feelings and thoughts whatever they are, you do not go to bed angry, you just get it all out.

Rule #4, you are family. (I go back to my beginning point of this not being special treatment for just me.) I soon learnt that the Doss Family has a webbing that extends far out into the world, a webbing of beautiful people that float in and out of that overflowing warm house who have shared in the joys, laughter and sorrows that pass through all the lives in the web.  You are always welcome back anytime and usually that time comes when you need a sanctuary, a safe haven or a little refuge from life to get re-centered. To talk it out, work it out and to remember what life is all about, no matter how much your current situation stinks.

Rule #5, drink gin and tonics with Papa Pfer, or else!  Well that rule isn't entirely true but its definitely a pre-requisite.

Wendy, Papa Pfer, Brit, TayTay, Court, Ty, Aliyah, Bryce, Janay, The Robinsons, Liz, Jace and all the little guys whose hugs I cherish, thank you for being such a beautiful example of connection and love in the world.  I am forever touched to know all of you and be part of the family. My life would not be the same without you.