#15 - uncomfortable

A woman named Sophie, who was first a mentor, then became a very good friend and co-creator, is first and foremost a woman who solely sees the beauty in the world and constantly celebrates the joy in every moment.  I admire her greatly and it truly is a gift to know her and have had the opportunity to work with her in an artistic capacity.  Where I would stop and say, "No this isn't it, or its boring, or no one is going to want to see this movement on stage," she taught me to see the possibility in each moment and quite literally altered the way I create in the studio.

But one of the biggest lessons I learnt from Sophie came at her house where I was invited to spend the afternoon with her family, including her two beautiful children that are literally balls of energy being nurtured and expressed in absolutely every moment.

I arrived at the front door dressed in a purple summer top and was greeted warmly by Coops, who immediately started bouncing off the wall showing me the coolest flips I have ever seen.  Posie however gave me one look over and stormed into her room.  But what happened next is where the magic lay.  Sophie taught me something that day about our feelings as she addressed her daughters "upset."  She simply talked to her little girl and had the most adult conversation I had ever heard over whether Posie was feeling comfortable feelings or uncomfortable feelings.  There was no right or wrong or good or bad.  This little girl had expressed that she was upset that she wasn't wearing purple like me and wanted to match.  In a mere few moments the upset was resolved.

What fascinated me was that there was no "giving in" or catering.  But what there was, was complete freedom of expression and Posie was able to A - be heard and B - identify what was going on for her.

So where am I going with all of this?  The terms of emotions I related to, until that day were in categories of "good" and "bad."  The good feelings were welcomed, accepted and I should even share and express that I am feeling them to other people.  The bad feelings are not good, they are unwelcome, I shouldn't have them and since I shouldn't have them, I shove them down and pretend they aren't there.
Eek!

So what became possible for me that day is if I relate to my emotions as being comfortable or uncomfortable, they don't come with any definition that they are accepted or unaccepted.
They just are.

And so in not hiding the "bad" feelings anymore, and learning to just be with them, I can now identify when I am uncomfortable and deal with it.  Rather than my former course of action of hiding from the "bad" emotion, covering it up then slapping a good old smile on my face and trying really hard to be present with people but actually being really fake and truly not me, at all.

So whats my new game? It's called get uncomfortable with yourself.  In our society we are so engrained to feel the good feelings and hide the bad.  Which ultimately leads to the greatest unhappiness because a part of us is then completely not heard or expressed and starts fighting us from within to be seen, causing way more turmoil than was ever necessary in the first place.

So let the uncomfortableness out! It isn't so bad and it actually stops having a hold over you when you do.

Thanks little Posie for teaching me this one and to Sophie for being such a gift to your family and to the world.

Thanks Nova Scotia for this sign :)