Want to know the biggest thing that I got?? I haven't really been listening to anyone ever...... and no I'm not the only one in the world, or in the course that wasn't. But I discovered that communication is actually listening. Its not talking and talking and talking until the person gets what I said. It is truly being with another person so that they are 100% heard and acknowledged. Communication is not words coming out of two peoples mouths, communication exists in the space between us and we are creating it, it doesn't just happen to us and we partake in it.
I've been making up that people aren't listening to me when I speak, but the truth is, I haven't been listening.....
So how does that go, you ask? Well communication is actually love and affinity. When we communicate with someone its because we want to be seen, heard and acknowledged. And so receiving someones communication means being the space of love for someone to be received. When we are in a space of anger, are we open to receiving? Nope! We are resisting communication and resisting the other person so that they are not being seen, heard or acknowledged. Ever have the experience that no matter what you say, the other person isn't getting it?? Well I learnt that thats because I wasn't really coming from a space of love with that person, I was coming with all my crap and then I built a nice little wall with all my stuff between us and said, "hey, communicate through this and then we'll see if I can hear ya"...... and of course I couldn't.
So whats new for me? I can actually hear people now instead of hear them through the lens I was choosing to hear them through. I used to spent 10 minutes trying to get off the phone with my mom and she would keep talking and talking and it would never end.... and all of a sudden now, I have the best 3 minute phone conversations with her and we talk about more than we ever have in just three minutes! How cool is that!
(my mom and I at my sisters wedding, August 2011)
No comments:
Post a Comment