It's a tough question, that whole act of giving advice because we care about the people in our lives and want the best for them. In western culture we're very good at masking and mistaking the act of caring for another with the actual act of dominance or diminishment.
Take a look for yourself. Can you remember a time when you wanted something for someone and pushed your advice on them in a caring manner in order to get them to achieve the outcome that you wanted for them?
In the last few weeks I've learnt that I do this a lot. I put on this act that I want the best for the people in my life but what I really learnt this past weekend in the Communications Course I attended is that in doing so, I'm actually suppressing and robbing the people I care about of the experience to choose and decide freely for themselves. Thats pretty nasty isn't it?
So when I really looked deeper into that, what shows up is that I am holding people as small and unable to make decisions for themselves such that they need someone to sweep in and save the day for them and tell them how things should be..... Yuk! That totally trumps what I actually am committed to for people in the world, which I mentioned in my very first post:
My desire is that every single human being on this planet live a fully expressed life realizing and expressing their passion and true gifts in this world. So if I'm standing around "knowing better and telling people what they should do" I am completely and utterly squashing any original, authentic and full self expression from other human beings.
The world and our lives are filled with outstanding and extraordinary human beings who are capable of the most unbelievable things and if we start speaking to each other as those kinds of big people instead of diminishing and dominating them in order to be right, then we'll indefinitely start to see a world free of war, hate, pain and sacrifice.
Thank you Jen, for giving me the space to see that I was robbing you of your light and for staying by my side to redesign an already rock solid friendship into an even more brilliant sister-ship than I ever could have imagined!
Take a look for yourself. Can you remember a time when you wanted something for someone and pushed your advice on them in a caring manner in order to get them to achieve the outcome that you wanted for them?
In the last few weeks I've learnt that I do this a lot. I put on this act that I want the best for the people in my life but what I really learnt this past weekend in the Communications Course I attended is that in doing so, I'm actually suppressing and robbing the people I care about of the experience to choose and decide freely for themselves. Thats pretty nasty isn't it?
So when I really looked deeper into that, what shows up is that I am holding people as small and unable to make decisions for themselves such that they need someone to sweep in and save the day for them and tell them how things should be..... Yuk! That totally trumps what I actually am committed to for people in the world, which I mentioned in my very first post:
My desire is that every single human being on this planet live a fully expressed life realizing and expressing their passion and true gifts in this world. So if I'm standing around "knowing better and telling people what they should do" I am completely and utterly squashing any original, authentic and full self expression from other human beings.
The world and our lives are filled with outstanding and extraordinary human beings who are capable of the most unbelievable things and if we start speaking to each other as those kinds of big people instead of diminishing and dominating them in order to be right, then we'll indefinitely start to see a world free of war, hate, pain and sacrifice.
Thank you Jen, for giving me the space to see that I was robbing you of your light and for staying by my side to redesign an already rock solid friendship into an even more brilliant sister-ship than I ever could have imagined!
(Vancouver Aquarium)
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